First-World Problems

She lives in the United States in the twenty-first century.

She has excellent medical care; she's never been really hungry; she's never been really scared. She's never seen anyone yell at or strike someone else.

We provide her a range of enriching activities: swimming lessons, camping, biking, art projects, trips to the library, trips to the zoo, pottery painting, face painting, "Busy Beaver Camp".

She regularly rides on rides at the mall that for some inexplicable reason cost 75 cents for three minutes of gentle rocking back and forth.

And still she finds reasons to pitch a fit.

Most recently she was enraged—screaming, red-faced, incredulous, end-of-the-world enraged—that we told he to content herself with the iPod Touch rather than immediately handing over the iPhone.