I want everything

We went to the beach on Sunday morning. It was busier than it had been on our last visit. We went down to play in the sand by the water and there were tons of kids along the shore with all of their beach accoutrements, shovels, pales, floating noodles, etc. Sophie wanted to grab everything, all at once. Lately we’ve been trying to get Sophie to understand that she can’t just pick up anything she likes, that we have to respect other people’s property. This isn’t an easy proposition with a child who can barely understand basic directions, much less more complicated concepts like personal property. While she didn’t exactly have a meltdown, somehow the beach, with all of the fun, off-limit toys, wasn’t as enjoyable as before. This I-want-everything stage is challenging because there are temptations at every turn: the store, the park, etc. On the one hand, her grabbiness is a pain to deal with and the easiest way around it is to simply stay home. But I guess she (and I) has to deal with this at some point so, alternatively, we can just face the challenge head on. From what I hear, this phase is going to last for about 29 more years.

After the beach, we went to the library. The local library has a fun kids’ room with all kinds of cool toys that regularly change—our tax money hard at work. At one table, they had some blocks set up. Sophie was playing with the blocks along side a boy slightly older than she. She grabbed a bunch of blocks and handed them to the boy as a sort of offering. Wow, what a difference from this morning. The two played together mostly sharing their blocks, giving them back and forth with only minimal resistance. I’d like to believe that she is a quick learner, she figured out how to share. But as I’m writing, I am realizing that sharing is different from not touching other people’s toys. And in fact, the implicit rules of toys aren't simple. First you have toys that you aren’t allowed to touch at all (strangers’ toys), second, there is a group of toys you can play with but you need to share (like the communal toys at the library) and third, there are your own toys, most of which you don’t really like anymore, but you don’t want others touching, nonetheless your mother makes you share if there are other kids visiting. Every time Sophie sees a toy, she has to figure out what rule the toy falls under before she can even touch it much less play with it. Who knew toys could be so complicated.